I had my oncologist appointment yesterday. It was encouraging and a bit disappointing. Overall, good.
Encouraging — only one more tumor rather than a whole bunch. Disappointing in that a couple of tumors grew, one of them doubling in size. Perhaps the keto diet is working, perhaps not. I’m going to continue doing it simply to lose weight and because I am feeling healthier doing it.
The additional tumor was in a location that, during the last oncology visit, was “maybe” a tumor — the doctor wasn’t sure. We are sure now. So maybe really no additional tumors. And this “new” one is one of the two that grew (in the liver).
However, the second one that grew, there was no doubt. One of the lung tumors doubled in size. Dr. Andreason does not feel we need to start treatments yet, and the tumor board agrees with this.
We also asked if she would look into any trials that may be coming up that I might qualify for. And she answered a question both Julie and I were pretty sure we knew the answer to but wanted to make sure. If I start treatment, I will probably be on the treatment protocol for the remainder of my life (barring some miraculous recovery or remission situation).
Since treatment is approached on a case-by-case basis what this looks like is unsure: it might be 12 infusions over six months followed by a “chemo-vacation” for a few months to let my body heal some. However, it sounds like for as long as I am willing to tolerate treatment, that I would be getting at least 5FU every two weeks forever. The only vacationing would be from the cocktail added to this base.
I did my first iREST session with the social worker after the oncology appointment. It was very interesting; a guided meditation. She had me think of things that just popped up in certain areas. One of the things was to consider the first emotion that comes to mind and immediately the grief for Ed popped up. I don’t know where it came from. I guess I’ve been stewing over the loss of Ed for a while. I just didn’t realize how much I was subconsciously thinking of him. And in the next part of the guidance, she asks me to pick an emotion that is opposite of what I just found. I immediately went to the joyful times I’ve had with Ed. I started crying in the session. It was quite powerful.
I will be continuing this, if for no other reason than to work out the subconscious things that are giving me anxiety. I seem to have more than cancer is currently on my mind.
Another item in the guidance was a habit; my disciplined approach to the things in life popped into mind. We had just talked about it in the car on the way up to Portland, how I can stubbornly start and stick to something if I set my mind to it. The prime examples would be quitting smoking and keto. However, later in the guidance, she asks to consider something an opposite, and immediately what comes to mind is all of the things I’ve attempted to do and didn’t stick with. Usually, they are personal or around the house projects. I’ve got to work on my discipline.
I’ve been reading a lot about stoicism lately, and I like a lot of the philosophy behind it. I think I’m going to begin to incorporate that in my life. This also should help me deal with cancer.
I do plan on continuing with the Budwig Protocol and the keto diet. Last night Julie and I, and a couple of couples of our best friends (wow, that is awkward English, but correct), went out to dinner to kind of celebrate the results of my scans. And yes I cheated, big time. Steak fajitas with ice cream for dessert. I do not regret it at all. Of course later today I may as my pooper is beginning to act up.
The next scan is to be scheduled for January.